


The Loaded Key: What Doesn't Kill You

by Decker



Series: Loaded Key Vignettes. [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1920s, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-19
Updated: 2012-02-19
Packaged: 2017-10-31 10:48:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/343217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Decker/pseuds/Decker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is tough for Tavros Nitram. He's been down on his luck after a nearly fatal run in with Russian bounty hunter Vriska Serket, and it's hard for a troll in a wheelchair to find work. He finds himself getting help from some unexpected sources. But with friends like these, who needs enemies?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Loaded Key: What Doesn't Kill You

It was the beginning of spring in 1925, on a cold and rainy day, when Tavros was spending some time in the Menagerie. It was one of the higher class speakeasies in the city, which meant that it was generally quiet and there was little excitement. Tavros liked it that way. Another reason Tavros spent his time here was that there were quite a few poker players, and cards was something Tavros was good at. People always let the nervous troll sit down with them at the card table, thinking that he would be an easy opponent. They were disappointed to find out that Tavros was always nervous, to the point where it was difficult to see his tells. Tavros didn't play much, but he made enough to pay for his food and drinks for the night.

But, the real reason that Tavros came here was because of the balcony. The Menagerie was originally three stories, but it was converted into one big hall years ago. A ring of balcony seating ran around the wall of the speakeasy, about fifteen feet off the ground. This was where Tavros spent most of his time, and where he was now, leaning on the railing, looking down on the crowd below. Sometimes he could imagine that he was floating off of the ground.

“Think fast.” Someone gave Tavros a gentle push from behind. It was just enough to make Tavros lose his balance. He gasped and flailed his arms. He felt his stomach lurch and saw the stone floor below, and...

...Tavros heard uproarious laughter as someone grabbed his collar and yanked him back away from the railing.

“ _Na to i schuka v more, shtoby karas' ne dremal._ You have to watch your back, friend. There is danger at every turn,” the person behind him said with a thick, Russian accent. Tavros took a few deep breaths to calm himself down before turning around. He came face to face with a female troll, with long black hair, mismatched horns, and long fangs. She smiled wide at him, which threw Tavros off.

“I...uh...uh.” he stammered. The other troll frowned.

“Shook you up, huh? Tsk, fine, I will make it up to you,” As a waiter walked past with a tray full of drinks, she smoothly reached over and grabbed two of them. The shift in balance almost made the waiter lose the tray. The waiter furrowed his brow at her. She smiled as she handed one of the drinks to a stunned Tavros and tossed a dollar on the tray.

“There. Keep change.”

“Ma'am, those drinks are for-”

“Ubirat'sya,” She snarled at him. The waiter didn't understand her words, but he did understand her tone. He left quickly to replace the drinks. She turned to Tavros.

“I am Vriska, what is your name?”

“I'm...uh...”

“Come on, is not hard question,” she huffed.

“Uh...Tavros. Sorry. I'm just, uh, not used to...”

“Hah! That is okay. I kind of...happen to people.” Vriska turned and looked down among the people walking below them. She took a gulp of her drink a leaned on the railing. Tavros had forgotten about the drink in his hand up until that point. He took a sip of his, and winced.

“So, what are you doing up here, Tavros?” She said, distractedly.

“I...uh...I like it up here. I like being in high places.”

“Really? You strike me as someone who is scared of...well, everything, but scared of heights is what I am thinking.”

“Uh, sometimes. But I'm trying to get used to it.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I, uh, saw some airplanes at the state fair a few years ago, and I decided I wanted to be a pilot. I want to fly.”

“Hah!” She turned to look at him, “And how you plan on doing that?”

“Well...uh...I figured I would be a pilot for the army,” he said. He immediately regretted it when he saw the look on Vriska's face.

“So you want to be soldier, huh?”

“Well...I...uh....”

“Bah. You would not last five minutes.” she bared her teeth at him. Vriska turned and looked among the crowd again.

“Uh...you never know.” He shifted uncomfortably for a minute. He spoke again just to break the silence. “So, what are you doing up here?”

“I am looking for someone,” Vriska said. “I figured it would be easier to find him up here.”

“Oh...uh...friend of yours?”

“More like...business associate.” Vriska leaned further over the rail, squinting below her. Almost directly under her was a pale, bald man in a white suit. She smiled. “Speak of devil, and he appears.”

“That's who you're looking for?”

“Yes. Now if....” She stopped and went bug eyed as Tavros leaned over and whistled, waving to the man below then. He looked up at Tavros, then at Vriska. His face not losing the same, neutral look, he reached into his white jacket and drew a revolver. Tavros gasped as he pointed it up at the both of the them. He pulled the trigger, and Vriska yelped and jumped back, dragging Tavros with her.

“Fucking idiot!” she screamed at him, wide eyed. There were screams and the sounds of chairs overturning below them. Vriska reached into her coat and drew her own revolver. She ran to the edge of the rail and looked down. The floor below them was a sea of panic. Her eyes darted around, looking for the man in the white suit. But even as the floor started to empty out, she couldn't find him.

“Why did he shoot at you?” Tavros asked, shaking. Vriska roared and whipped around, grabbing Tavros by the neck.

“Do you have any idea how much Doc Scratch is worth to police?” she hissed. Vriska swung him around. Tavros noticed a trickle of blue blood dripping down her arm. “I could have bought house and car and have money left over!” She pressed him against the rail. Tavros whimpered as he was pushed back, farther and farther over the edge of the rail, until Vriska's hand was the only thing holding him up.

“I...” he gasped, “...didn't...know...”

“Oh! And that makes everything better. Suddenly, I have money in my pocket, my arm is all better, and crime lord is off street.” She suddenly grinned evilly as an idea came to her. “You wanted to fly, little soldier boy? Well, fly!”

Vriska let go of Tavros. His mind went blank. It didn't register that he was probably about to die. It didn't register that he had just escaped being shot by inches, or that a crime lord knew his face now. All that registered as he stared up at Vriska looking down at him was that, for one brief, blissful second, he was weightless, and he heard the wind rushing past his ears.

This must be what it's like to fly.

Tavros smashed into the table below him, hard enough to break it in half. He felt a searing pain, and then he didn't feel anything. He blacked out.

*

Tavros' luck took a turn for the worse after that night. He woke up in a hospital the next day, numb from the waist down. He had asked the doctor when it would go away and he could get moving again. The doctor just shook his head.

Tavros drifted from low paying job to low paying job, though it was hard to find work in a wheelchair. His savings were eaten up by hospital bills and having to move to an apartment without stairs. He tried to go back to poker to keep his head above the water, but his luck seemed to have dried up. He was used to playing for spare change, but when his livelihood depended on his skills and luck, things seemed to go downhill.

He managed to keep things together for over a year, before things went from bad to worse. He had just lost another job, and the cards wouldn't cooperate. He sighed as he looked around his ratty apartment. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

*

It was well over a year after the incident with Doc Scratch when Vriska was browsing through a pawn shop. She loved places like this. They were like little treasure hunts. You had no idea what you might find. As she looked over some rings and necklaces, looking for a real hidden treasure among the costume jewelry, she thought back over her life the past few months. She had...quit doing bounty hunting work and started working for the Midnight Crew, but their work was starting to sour on her. It's one thing when it's a mobster that has a chance to shoot back. It's another when it's an honest businessman who made some bad borrowing choices, on his knees and begging for his life. It was getting harder and harder to justify to herself.

“Uh...how much can I get for this?”

Vriska froze. She knew that hesitant, almost stuttering voice. Keeping her head low, she turned around and peeked over a row of shelves to the front counter. The first thing she noticed was the ridiculously wide set horns.

The second was the wheelchair. Vriska swore to herself. The little demons were haunting her today.

She carefully watched him pawn off some things, including an old guitar for not nearly enough money. She ducked back behind the shelf as he turned around and went back out the door. After she heard the bell stop ringing when the door closed, she followed.

She looked both ways before she saw Tavros stopped at a curb, trying to navigate his chair so that he could cross the street. Vriska walked up behind him.

“Here. Let me help.” Vriska held the back of the chair and eased the fall as he dropped himself off the curb.

“Oh...uh...thanks.” He braced himself as Vriska rolled him up on the curb on the other side of the street. It was there that Vriska turned the chair left and they started down the street.

“I...uh...I can take it from here. My house is down that way.”

“But we're going to go this way. Have a little walk and talk.”

That's when Tavros turned around and looked saw Vriska's fanged grin. His eyes went wide and he started shaking and stammering. Vriska sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Relax, okay? I'm not going to hurt you. Again.”

“But...but...but...what do you....”

“How have you been doing?”

“...what?”

“Work with me here. I'm trying to make conversation.”

“Oh...uh...keeping by, I guess,” Tavros said. He stared straight ahead as he talked, and his voice was tight.

“Selling your stuff at a pawn shop doesn't look like 'keeping by' to me,” Vriska said quietly. Tavros didn't reply, so Vriska continued. “I expect it's hard for someone in a wheelchair to find a job.”

“I...uh...yeah. Kind of. I'm sure something will turn up.” Tavros said. He wasn't dead yet, so he managed to relax a bit.

“Ha....” Vriska said mirthlessly. They walked on in silence a bit while Vriska turned some things over in her brain. She didn't believe in Karma, or religion, but this was gnawing at her. She felt like it was something she needed to help patch, if anything to have someone to talk to for a little while. Vriska had not talked to Terezi in a long time. She hadn't really talked to anyone in a long time.

An idea came to her.

“So, you're having a hard time finding legitimate work. Well, I think I can help you.”

“Um...how?” Tavros said cautiously.

“We can find you some illegitimate work instead! I know all about that.”

“But...I...uh....”

“But what?” Vriska snapped.

“But why?” Tavros asked, more of nerves than anything. He still didn't understand what was going on.

“Well. I feel bad. I mean, it's kind of...a little bit my fault that you're in this situation. So I thought to myself that maybe I can help you get back on your feet. So to speak. Isn't that nice of me?” She leaned over and grinned down at him.

“I...uh...yeah, but-”

“It's settled then!” she said in a chipper voice. She felt a tiny weight lift off her shoulders. Tavros was still confused, but he rolled with it. He didn't really have much of a choice.

“So...uh...where are we going?”

“We're going to get drunk and listen to some jazz. I heard about a place I want to check out.”

*

“Look, Kanaya, there's humans in the crowd and they're fucking weird about that kind of stuff. So just sing it like it's written down, alright?”

“Well, I'm not comfortable with this version. I...did not rehearse it this way,” Kanaya said, pointing to the page of music in front of her

“It's an easy change, Kanaya.”

“But don't you think the other way sounds better?”

“It doesn't matter!” Karkat snapped rubbing his temples. He sighed. The band was on the stage already and they were waiting to get this show going. Karkat didn't want his patrons to get bored. Bored drunks were bad news. Karkat finally threw his hands up. “Fine! I don't care how you sing it, just get out there and fucking sing!”

“Thank you, Karkat.” Kanaya leaned over and pecked Karkat on the forehead. Karkat just swatted the air around his head as she walked away like she was an annoying fly.

There was a round of applause as Kanaya got up on the stage. She scanned the crowd, but roaming eyes stopped suddenly. She noticed Vriska sitting at the table, throwing back a glass of something not completely unlike paint remover. Most of the women that came through the club were proper, and well to do, or dressed up in the standard flapper garb. Vriska, in her trench coat and her unkempt hair had a much more rakish and dangerous look about her, like an alley cat that's been in too many fights. Kanaya thought it was hypnotic, and hardly even noticed the big-horned troll sitting next to her, sipping a drink. Vriska noticed Kanaya looking at her, and shot back a smile that would get most people jailed.

Kanaya didn't even really notice the music start up, but luckily she had sung this song so many times, that she operated on autopilot. She closed her eyes and looked mournful as she cradled the microphone.

 

“There's been a saying, going 'round,

and I begin to think that it's true.

It's awfully hard to love someone,

when they don't care about you.

 

Once I had a loving gal,

the sweetest little thing in town.

But now she's gone and left me.

She went and turned me down.

 

Now I ain't got nobody, and nobody cares for me.

That's why I'm sad and lonely.

Won't someone come and take a chance with me?”

 

She turned and looked out to the crowd, putting her hand out in a beckoning manner. Kanaya was swept up in the act, while Vriska just leaned her chin on her hands and smiled. They didn't notice some murmurs from the back of the room, steadily growing louder.

 

“I'll sing you love songs, honey, all the time.

If only you say you'll be a sweet gal of mine.

Oh, I ain't got nobody. Nobody cares for me!”

 

She stood and gently swayed on the stage as the instrumental version of the song played out, though she kept catching herself giving sideways glances to Vriska, who was still grinning like a viper.

 

“I'll sing you love songs, honey, all the time.

If only you say you'll be a sweet gal of mine.

Oh, I ain't got nobody. Nobody cares for me!”

 

There was a loud round of applause, punctuated by Vriska whistling loudly. Tavros grinned and clapped. He was actually having fun, for the first time in a long while. They sat through a few more songs and Vriska went through a few more drinks before the band started packing up their instruments. The crowd started to thin out after that, and soon they were mostly gone.

“I think I'm going to come back here.” Vriska grinned at Tavros.

“Yeah. It...uh...seems like a nice place.”

“I am glad you think so,” Said a voice from behind them. They both turned around to see Kanaya, standing there in a long, green dress, with a slight smile on her face. “I don't think I have seen you here before, Miss...?”

“I'm no miss. My name is Vriska Serket,” She said, standing up. “This is my buddy, Tavros.”

“Uh...hi.”

“Forgive me, I will keep that in mind. I am Kanaya Maryam. Also, hello Tavros. I hope you enjoyed our little show.”

“The music, and the view.” Vriska leered, picking up the rest of her drink and killing it. “Oh, don't be coy. I saw you eying me. I suppose I can spare you an hour if you have a back room. I always wanted to get a taste of jade-blood.”

Kanaya blushed. “I...uh...”

Vriska burst out in laughter. “You sound like Tavros! Relax. I am only teasing. I kind of stand out in a crowd, I know. I get a lot of looks.”

“I...yes, of course.” Kanaya composed herself.

“Enough of that queer troll shit!”

Kanaya spun around, and Vriska narrowed her eyes, looking over Kanaya's shoulder. There were two unshaven and messy looking humans standing a few feet away. Kanaya frowned. The rest of the band was still putting their things away, and Karkat and Gamzee were downstairs, likely serving the last round and cleaning up. She tried to defuse the situation

“That is enough. I think you two-”

“Shut up, you roach whore! We don't like that kind of thing in this city. It isn't natural and I don't want to see it!” One of them jabbed a finger at her. Vriska put her hand on Kanaya's shoulder, pulling her back and stepping in front of her.

“Then you shouldn't have come to a bar with trolls, _govniuk,_ ” she said, fangs glinting. Tavros tried quickly wheeled himself to the other side of the table.

“I'll...uh...I'll go get help.”

“Yes, fine. Go away then,” Vriska snapped.

“Listen to her!” The other man said. “She talks like a commie! Going to protect your girlfriend, commie?”

Vriska sighed. “Okay. First off, she isn't my girlfriend. I was just having a bit of fun.” Vriska didn't see Kanaya's deflated expression. “Secondly, think fast.” Vriska lobbed her empty glass high in the air. The two men leaned back, watching it tumble. Vriska stepped in low and drove her fist into the closer man's gut, doubling him over. She jerked her knee up and slammed it into his face, bloodying his nose and knocking him to the floor. The other man had his wits about him enough to throw a punch at Vriska, but it was a slow, drunk punch. Vriska had been pacing herself with her drinks. She ducked under the punch and stepped behind the man, grabbing his other arm and pulling it behind his back and up into a hammerlock. She grabbed a handful of his shirt with her other hand and kicked the back of his leg, making him drop down on a knee and pulling his arm up further. He yelled as the muscles in his shoulder bent in all the wrong directions.

“Apologize to the nice singer lady for calling her names,” Vriska hissed in his ear.

“Fuck you, you dirty ro-ARG!” Vriska twisted his arm. “Okay, okay! I'm sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” Vriska said in a sing-song, schoolteacher voice.

“Sorry for calling you a roach whore,” he growled.

“You accept his apology?” Vriska looked at Kanaya.

Kanaya was still trying to process what just happened. In only a few seconds, one of the men was on the floor holding his stomach and his bloody face, and the other was having is arm twisted in a very painful looking direction. She did not often see someone fight like that.

“I...I think that can be the end of it,” she said quietly.

“Good! Everyone is happy!” Vriska smiled. She stepped back and, without letting go of his arm, kicked his elbow up, hard. There was a sickening pop from his shoulder, and he started screaming.

“That one was for calling me a Bolshevik,” she growled, dropping his limp arm.

“Was that really necessary?” Kanaya asked, covering her ears.

“Nope!” Vriska said cheerfully.

“What the fuck is going on up here!?” Karkat stormed up to the two of them, followed closely by Tavros being wheeled by Gamzee.

Karkat looked at the two men on the floor and started cursing. He turned and looked at Kanaya. “What the fuck happened here? Who started this?”

Both Kanaya and Vriska silently pointed a finger at the two prone figures, though the man with the bloody nose was starting to move around again. Karkat sighed.

“Why didn't you get the bucktooth wonders to fucking help you if people were starting shit.”

“I am sorry, Karkat, but neither Jade nor John were here,” Kanaya said in an annoyed tone. Karkat rubbed his face and looked at Vriska.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“I'm the troll who protected your singer. You're welcome.”

Kanaya stepped in when she saw Karkat about to boil over. “Karkat, this is Vriska Serket. Vriska, Karkat Vantas. He owns and runs The Loaded Key. And yes, Karkat, she did defend me.”

“Ha! See?”

“Yes. Fine. Thank you. Fucking drink on the house for you.” He quickly turned to Kanaya, “So where are they?”

“Still putting their instruments away, I believe. Such are the hazards of having them do two jobs at once.”

“Well, who else is supposed to do it? Gamzee and me are too busy serving drinks!”

Vriska held up a finger. “As it so happens, my friend and I are looking for work.”

Kanaya looked at Vriska, then looked at Karkat. Karkat blinked for a few seconds before waving his hands in front of him and shaking his head.

“No! No fucking way. Do you see that poor fucker's arm? He's not gonna use that thing for a LOOK OUT!”

Vriska jerked to the side, knocking Kanaya over, as something metallic flashed past her face. The man with the bloody nose was on his feet again, holding a small switchblade knife.

“I'll...fucking kill...you!” He growled. He took a shaky step forward, raising his hand. He stopped dead when he felt a cold pressure between his eyes. He crossed his eyes to see Vriska pressing a revolver against his head.

Vriska shook her head, tutting. “We were having a nice, friendly bar fight and you had to go and pull a weapon.” She cocked the hammer back, just as John, Jade, Dave, and Rose ran into the room. The man dropped the knife.

“Where the fuck have you guys been?” Karkat yelled at them.

“You can't hear anything in that store room,” Jade said, “We didn't know what was going on.”

“Well you're fucking here now! Get rid of these bozos!”

“You want me to wait until we get outside to shoot him?” Vriska asked.

“What? No!”

“Oh, well, okay. As long as I don't have to clean the floors in here.”

“I mean don't fucking shoot him, you psycho! Just...you!” He pointed to the man Vriska had at gunpoint. His hands were up and shaking. “Take your friend and get the fuck out of here.”

The man nodded hurriedly. He reached down and grabbed the other man under his arm, who yelled loudly. He pulled his hands away, then grabbed him under his other arm and hauled him to his feet. They both stumbled out the door. Rose and Dave helped Kanaya to her feet and she brushed off her dress. Vriska turned to Karkat.

“So what about that job?”

“You're a fucking lunatic.”

“It looks like you need one of those.”

“I need you pulling guns in my bar like a need a fucking hole in my-” Karkat was cut off by John putting his hand on Karkat's shoulder.

“Karkat, we are stretched kind of thin.”

As the rest of the group was debating, and Tavros and Gamzee were chatting, Jade walked over to Vriska.

“Can I see your gun?” she asked with polite, childlike enthusiasm. Vriska looked suspicious, but she gently dropped the hammer on her pistol and handed it to Jade by the barrel. Jade held it sideways and inspected it closely.

“Colt Frontier Six-Shooter. Good choice, but why didn't you just get the Single Action Army?”

“Ah, see. This one takes the .44 rounds. Four and four make eight. Eight is my lucky number.”

Jade popped open the chamber and took a bullet out. “Yeah, the .44-40 Winchester rounds are nice. I have an old Winchester rifle back at home.”

“You know your guns!” Vriska was starting to like this girl more and more.

“My grandpa taught me everything I know.”

Meanwhile, John, Kanaya, Rose, Karkat, and Dave were huddled together.

“Karkat, I've seen her fight. She's very good at it, and she wants to work for us,” Kanaya said.

“I don't know....” Rose said, chewing her lip. “Something about her rubs me the wrong way. I can't put my finger on it.”

“I don't fucking like her either,” Karkat growled.

John shrugged. “She seems like she knows what she's doing.”

“I don't want her breaking all of our customers!”

John smiled. “Yeah, but word gets around fast. I'll bet you there are going to be less people picking fights now. Especially if we have her walking around and keeping people in check.”

“Fuckin'...Strider. You've been quiet. What do you think?” Karkat hit Dave on the shoulder with the back of his hand. Dave was watching Jade and Vriska.

“I think having someone else who knows how to shoot will help a whole fucking lot when we're picking up product.”

“What the fuck, Strider? I thought you would be on my side for once!”

“If she's in front waving a gun around, they're going to be shooting at her and not the rest of us, shithead.”

Karkat couldn't argue with that. He stood up. “Gamzee?”

Gamzee lazily looked up and smiled. “Yeah?”

“Should we hire that psycho?”

Gamzee shrugged. “Sure. Why not?”

“Why not? Why not? Because she should be hugging herself in a fucking padded room! Personally, I'd rather jump in a bathtub full of rattlesnakes and fellate a fucking gun-barrel but if you want this homicidal asylum jumper to be the one watching your back, then by all means I live to serve!”

“Sounds good!” Gamzee grinned.

“Oh my God, you're serious. Fine. Fine!” Karkat rubbed his face.

He stalked back over to Vriska. “You want to work for us? Fine. You can bounce and help us run booze back here.”

“Great!”

“...Uh....”

“Oh! I almost forgot! Where I go, he goes,” Vriska said, pointing at Tavros. “Hire him too.”

“What? What the fuck am I going to do with him?”

Vriska shrugged. She felt the need to put the effort forward to get Tavros a job, but she wasn't really going to refuse if he wasn't hired. It was Gamzee who spoke up.

“I think we should, Karkat. I mean, you thought I was useless.”

“I still think you're fucking useless.”

“Sure, but I make a mean drink,” Gamzee said with good nature. “You never know, Karkat.”

Karkat groaned and looked at Tavros. “Fine, what _can_ you do?”

“Uh...I...can drive pretty good. For moving...uh...rum around.”

“With those legs?”

“Uh...well...not anymore, but...uh...I'm good with animals too!”

“Wonderful. I don't fucking have time for this. Gamzee, if you want him on so bad, you find a fucking use for him. Then I'll start paying him.”

“You got it, boss.”

“Jade. Since you seem to be buddy-buddy with our new bouncer, show her around. I'm locking up and going to bed.”

*

It was a week later, and Vriska has slipped smoothly into her role as bouncer and general security. She generally just broke up fights, but when someone took a swing at her, she made sure to break a bone. It was usually an arm, but sometimes a leg and occasionally a nose. Vriska didn't believe in warnings when it came to picking a fight. Word got around fast, and soon when Vriska stepped in between two drunks, the swinging stopped. The number of fights dropped dramatically when Vriska was leaned up against the wall, watching the room carefully.

Not everyone was happy though.

“I've done some research on our new hire, Karkat,” Rose said as she walked into his office. Karkat looked up from his financial arithmetic with annoyance. He hated getting interrupted when he was doing the budget.

“What the fuck is it, Lalonde?”

“Did you know that our dear comrade used to be a bounty hunter?”

“I may just keel over and die from shock. My death is on your hands, Lalonde. I hope you're fucking happy with yourself. Do you think she's going to rat us out?”

“Oh no. I wouldn't worry about that. Not after her murder trial. She did only get off on a technicality. The prosecuting troll wasn't very happy about that. She wanted to see her hang.”

“What?” Karkat arched an eyebrow at the word 'hang'.

Rose ignored him and clamped her hands together in front of her, looking up in thought. “Now I wonder what that was about? She seems like a 'shoot the hostages' type, don't you agree? Ruthless, but decisive. Not letting petty things get in the way of getting the job done. Good choice, Karkat. I'm sure those widows and orphans will understand.”

Karkat rolled his eyes. He hated when Rose got into these kinds of moods.

“Are you going somewhere with this fucking fascinating story?”

“And it came to my attention she's done a fair amount of wet-work for the Midnight Crew.”

“No shit.”

“None whatsoever.”

“I've done business with Slick before. Fucking psycho, but at least you know where you stand with him. If he hates you, he'll say it to your face. With a knife.”

“You've done business with him?”

“How do you think I got the money to start this thing, Lalonde! I tried going into the fucking bank and saying. 'Hey, I need some money to help start up my illegal liquor business.' but for some mysterious reason they wouldn't let me sign anything! Who would have fucking thought it? Maybe I'm a credit risk! I didn't exactly have a lot of legitimate options here! Don't fucking look at me like that. I paid him back already.”

“Well, far be it from me to question my employer on money matters. Or staffing decisions. Especially involving people with such particularly interesting backgrounds.”

“Lalonde, how the fuck did you learn about all of this anyway?” Karkat said, throwing his pen down on the desk. It was clear he wasn't getting any work done tonight.

“It is my job to know things about people, as you're well aware. I consulted sources that are generally considered...unorthodox.”

“The spirits. Right,” Karkat said sarcastically, leaning tiredly on his hand. “Really fondling those crystal balls, huh?”

“In a manner of speaking. I was concerned by what I had seen. But I'm sure it's all things that you've considered. I knew that my trusted employer would take steps to make sure that we weren’t relieved of both life and wealth by our newest additions to the fold. ”

“Do you want me to buy you a fucking lock? Is that it?”

“My, but she is an interesting person though. I wonder what made her the troll she is today? How that live-wire brain of hers sparks. I imagine that she's in her mid-to-late twenties. A little hard to pin down due to her blood color, of course. Just in time for the Red Army to sweep through in her late teens. Do you suppose that has something to do with her aggressive tendencies and impulse control? She insinuated herself into our little group pretty quickly, so I'd venture she wasn't malsocialized too much despite her questionable table manners.” 

Karkat was reaching the end of his patience. “Lalonde, I don't care if you like her or not. But she's useful, so she stays for now.”

“Well, that's all well and good, but-” they were interrupted by a knocking at Karkat's door.

“What now?” Karkat snarled. It was Jade who poked her head in this time. She looked nervous.

“Uh, Karkat. Can you come down to the garage? Something came up.”

“Can it wait?” Karkat asked.

“Uh, well, I guess, but I think you might as well get the angry out of your system now.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Look, just come down to the fucking garage.”

Karkat and Rose looked at each other. They both walked out the door.

*

The guilt was coming back. She managed to get them to let Tavros stick around, but he spent most of his time wheeling himself back and forth trying to help and not being able to do much. It made Vriska feel bad, and when she felt bad, she took it out on Tavros. She was snapping at him, moving his things to high places, and sticking things in the spokes of his wheels. It took Kanaya stepping in to make Vriska try a different method.

“Well, he's just a lump! What do you want me to do?”

“You got him into this situation. Maybe you should try to help him get out of it.”

“I got him in the door!”

“You got him in the door of your choosing. It would be only polite to help him adapt a little to the job you dropped on his head.”

Vriska chewed her lip, thinking of how she could make Tavros a little less useless. Vriska vanished for the rest of the day, borrowing the car they used for liquor runs. She came back a few hours later, looking pleased with herself.

“Oh, Tavros,” she said in a sing song voice. “Wheel yourself up to the garage. I have a surprise for you.”

Tavros looked nervous, but he turned and wheeled his way up the cargo ramp. Vriska clapped.

“Come on! Use those muscles. There we go.” She grabbed the back of his chair when he made it to the top and steered him through the door.

“Tada!” she waved her had. All Tavros saw was Karkat's company car.

“I...uh...don't see it.”

“Look in the car, numbskull,” she said, giving Tavros a shove forward. He gripped his wheels to keep himself from rolling right into the door, and then he leaned over and had a look inside. Tavros didn't see anything at first, but then he noticed something about the gearshift. There were two more.

“One lever for gas, one for break, and one for changing gears. I know a mechanic who owed me a favor,” Vriska said, leaning down and looking over his shoulder.

“Uh...why?”

“So you can drive it! You said you were a good driver before, remember?”

“Wow. And Karkat said it was alright?”

“Ah...yeah, sure. Why not?”

“Really?”

“Look, just get in the car. We're going to go for a spin. You drive.” Vriska helped Tavros into the driver's seat and then hopped in the passenger side, putting her feet up on the dash. Tavros took a minute to sort out where everything was and to savor the moment. It didn't last long.

“Come on!” Vriska said impatiently.

“Oh...uh...okay.” Tavros shifted into drive and, after a few jerky starts where he got used to the sensitivity of the gas lever, pulled out of the garage.

It took Tavros longer to get used to turning the steering wheel with one hand than to drive with levers, but he managed to get around the city okay with Vriska shouting directions at him.

“Go left here!” she said, pointing down a wide road.

“This...uh...takes us out of the city.”

“Yep. Trust me.”

After a few minutes, the buildings thinned out. Vriska looked around and then looked at Tavros.

“Okay. No cops. Open it up.”

“Uh...how?”

“Lean on it, old lady. Go fast!”

“Oh! Uh...I don't know.”

“Come on! You're going to have to work those ponies when we're running rum. I want to see if you can do it.”

“Uh...alright then.”

Tavros braced himself, and leaned hard on the gas lever. The car jerked forward and quickly gained speed. He felt his heart pounding as trees whizzed past and the car bounced along the country road. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this kind of freedom. Vriska cheered as they screeched around a corner.

“You're really flying now!”

“Uh, yeah. It's almost like I am.”

*

On the way back to the bar, they both passed a very confused looking Jade as she was walking back in to the club after getting a sandwich. Vriska got out and opened the garage across the street, while Tavros pulled the car in. Vriska went around to the driver side.

“Well, I guess you are a pretty good driver after all. What do you think?”

“It's...uh...it's really great, Vriska.”

“See? Told you. Now you can be the driver and Karkat will keep you on.” Vriska grinned, looking very pleased with herself.

“What the fuck are you two doing?”

“Whoops.” Vriska turned around to see Karkat storming into the garage.

“What are you doing in my car? Jade said you were fucking driving? How the fuck are you driving? Your legs don't work!”

“Uh...uh....”

Vriska leaned back on the hood of the car. “I had some work done to it so he could drive it.”

“You fucking WHAT?” Karkat leaned forward, shoving Tavros aside and gaping in horror.

“What the fuck did you do to my car? I can't drive this thing!”

“Sure you can,” Vriska said, “just...with your hands now.”

“Who the fuck drives that way?”

“Well, Tavros did a really good job. And that's coming from me. Look, just get in the car.”

“Like fuck I'm going anywhere with-oof!” Vriska grabbed Karkat by the shoulder and shoved him into the back seat.

“Look, trust me. He's good at this. Take him around where you took me, Tavros!”

“Uh, are you sure I should?”

“No you fucking shouldn't.”

“Yes you should. Go!”

Tavros looked apologetically back at Karkat as he backed the car out. “...uh...sorry, but she scares me more than you do.”

“You're going to be the same amount of dead either-fuck!” Karkat lurched back into his seat as Tavros leaned on the gas and shot down the empty street.

*

Vriska sat at one of the tables in the speakeasy, sipping drinks for a while. She figured it was about an hour before Karkat stumbled back down the ramp. Vriska looked up.

“See? I told you he was good.”

“You. Are both. Fucking lunatics. He drives like you fight! Like a maniac!”

“I knew you would like it.”

“That wasn't a fucking compliment! I need...I need to go sit down until the fucking room stops spinning.”

“About what you said, Karkat,” Vriska called to his back, “I win my fights!”

*

Vriska cradled a Tommy-gun on her lap as the car bounced down forest road. Tavros was driving her, Karkat, and Dave to a remote dock upriver.

“Take a right here,” Karkat said, leaning forward from the back seat.

“Why are there four of us? I thought we only needed three for a hoe-down. Did the plan change to square dancing? I don't think I'm dressed for the occasion.” Dave rambled, cleaning his nails with a knife. He had a second Tommy-gun on the seat between Karkat and him.

“Because the Madam's bunch are out here too. I want everyone keeping an eye out. Speaking of which, take off your fucking glasses, Strider.”

“Not gonna happen, Karkat.”

“It's the middle of the night!”

“I can see fine.”

“How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Just one, you rude shit.” Dave didn't even have to look. “Anyway, we're not going to fit a whole fucking lot of liquor in here with this many people.”

“Vriska will just have to sit on your lap or something,” Karkat said distractedly.

“What? No. Fuck that,” Dave said.

“It's either me, or Karkat,” Vriska laughed.

“I think I'll just walk, thanks,” Dave grumbled.

“Uh...guys? Do you hear an engine running?”

“That's because you're driving the fucking car, you moron,” Karkat said.

Vriska waved her hand to quiet them down. “No, he's right,” She hissed and readied her gun. Karkat saw headlights shining through the trees where the dock was supposed to be.

“Kill the lights!” Karkat said. They rolled along in darkness. He motioned for Tavros to stop where the road turned towards the river. About a hundred feet away, was a truck parked next to the dock, along with another car. Two men were talking to the captain of the boat that Karkat was planning on doing business with.

“Fuck. They beat us to it,” Karkat scowled.

“Looks like they're both packing,” Dave said.

“Bah, so are we. Let’s go in and scare them off,” Vriska responded.

“Hang on,” Karkat said. “I noticed something about that truck.”

“What?”

“It's running. And they left the doors open.”

“They probably have it loaded already,” Dave said.

There was a short silence.

“You thinking what I'm thinking?” Dave asked. Karkat nodded.

“Tavros, turn this thing around a pull over to the side of the road. When we come through here with that truck, stick behind us. You and Vriska are going to run interference.”

“Uh...really? Oh...okay.”

“Oh this is going to be fun,” Vriska smiled, wide eyed.

“Careful with that fucking gun. It cost me a fortune,” Karkat whispered as he and Dave got out of the car.

*

“Now look, we were thinking that maybe we can cut a deal here? You just sell to us, and we make sure you get a good price.” The two men were talking with the old, gray bearded boat captain while he counted the money. He shook his head without looking up.

“Nope. First come, first serve. That's how I do business.”

“That's not the best way to do business. It's good to have friends in this city.”

“I have lots of friends.”

“You're going to have some enemies to if you're not careful.”

The captain looked up. “If you boys want to be difficult, then I'll just start shipping to a safer city.”

“Now, now. Let's not be hasty here. Madam Murel will treat you well.”

“Very well,” the other gangster said.

“My rum, my rules, Sonny,” the old man said. “I offered you boys a good price. You'll just have to make sure to be here when I'm coming.”

“Look. I have an idea. Why don't we sweeten the deal a bit huh?”

“Is yous boys truck still running?”

“Yeah, it's got a full tank and it's a demon to start.”

“Well, you better catch it then.”

“Catch it! I get it. That's funny.” The gangsters laughed politely. “Now then, about that...”

“Hey!”

Both gangsters turned around to see their troll driver sprawled in the dirt. He was having a nap in the driver's seat while his co-workers talked business, and the next thing he knew, someone grabbed his shoulders and yanked him out of the truck. Now the truck was pulling away. The two other gangsters looked at each other and ran for the other car.

*

“Here they come.” Vriska tapped Tavros on the shoulder. She had gotten in the back seat to better shoot behind them. A few seconds later, the truck rumbled past them. Tavros pulled on to the road and stuck a few yards behind the truck as it bounced along the lonely path.

“Can't they make that thing go any faster?” Vriska scowled.

“Uh...probably not with all that rum on board.”

“Bah.”

“Any sign of...uh...those other guys?”

“Not yet,” she said, scanning behind them. Suddenly, headlights switched on. “Whoops! I take that back.”

Vriska pointed the Thompson out of the back of the car and squeezed the trigger. Gunshots echoed through the forest and spent shells bounced around in the back seat. Vriska saw the car swerve around the road, but then it straightened out and accelerated. Vriska pulled the spent clip out of the machine gun.

“Give me more ammo!”

“Uh...Dave has it!”

“Well, it's not doing us a whole lot of fucking good with him, now is it?” Vriska shouted angrily. She tossed the spent clip out of the back and watched it futilely bounce off the other car. She dropped the machine gun on the floor of the car and drew her pistol. The other car was only a few yards away from them now. Vriska pointed the pistol out the back and fired off six shots in rapid succession. Again the car swerved. Again it straightened out and accelerated. Vriska's aim was being thrown off by the bumpy road.

“Fuck,” Vriska grumbled. She emptied the spent rounds and fished in her pockets for more bullets.

The other car pulled alongside them. Vriska and Tavros saw one of the gangsters level a machine gun at them.

Tavros jerked the wheel hard, slamming into the other car. Both the gun carrying gangster and Vriska tumbled over.

“Tavros, you fucking idiot! I dropped my bullets!”

“Uh...sorry!”

The car jerked again. This time it was the other car slamming into them, trying to push them off the steep drop on the side of the road.

“Uh...hang on!” Tavros stammered. He pulled the wheel away from the other car, getting ready to hit them back and get away from the drop. Vriska had her gun open and was frantically trying to shove some rounds into the chamber.

While they were on the far side of the road, the other gangster hit him again. Tavros felt his stomach lurch as the car tipped over. The world spun as Tavros and Vriska rolled down the hill and into the forest.

*

When Tavros opened his eyes again, he still had a death-grip on the steering wheel. The first thing he wondered is why his neck was so stiff. The second was why the trees were growing in the wrong direction. He finally figured out that the car was upside down and his head was pressing against the roof. He dumbly turned the car off and opened the door, falling out and onto the forest floor.

Well, he was alive. That was something. He tried to get his bearings.

As far as he could tell, he was somewhere in the woods outside the city. That was a start. He decided to do damage control instead. Patting himself down, all he could find were a couple of bruises.

“Boy, we got off lucky, huh?” he said, expecting a sarcastic reply.

He didn't get any reply. He looked around.

“Vriska?”

“Ghk.”

Tavros looked around until he found they gray lump that was Vriska's trench-coat. Vriska was still in it, face down in the dirt. Her breathing was slow and heavy.

“Uh...you okay?” he asked lamely.

“Ah...guh.” Vriska braced herself and heaved over onto her back. Tavros saw blood running down her face from a gash on her forehead.

“Oh...uh...wow. That looks bad.”

“Tavros...”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.”

“Okay.”

Vriska pushed herself up on her elbows and tried to pull her legs under her. She yelled and flopped back to the ground.

“Fuck! Ah. Fuck, fuck.”

“What's wrong?”

“Leg's broken.”

“That's...uh...not good.”

“No shit,” Vriska mumbled. “How come you look like you don't have a scratch on you?”

“I think...uh...it's because you got thrown out of the car.”

“Fuck.” Vriska dragged herself over to the closest tree and, hissing through her teeth, propped herself up against it so she could sit up. She looked glumly at Tavros. “So now what?”

Tavros shrugged. “Wait until someone comes back for us?”

“Brilliant plan.”

“Well...uh...what can we do? Neither of us can walk.”

“I don't know! You've done this longer than me. Can't you...crawl up the hill or something?”

Tavros shook his head. “It's...uh...too steep. I don't think I could get up it if my legs did work. Besides, we...uh...have a better chance if we stay put. I'm sure someone will come back for us soon.”

Vriska scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Typical. Wait for someone else to help you out. Well, I'm not going to sit around.” She worked to get her good leg under her and pushed back against the tree she was leaning against. Slowly, reaching behind her, she grabbed the tree and pushed herself up to a standing position. She winced and pulled her broken leg up off the ground and inch or so, so she was standing on one foot.

“There. Now, if I can just...make my way over to the other tree...I can get up to the-” Her hand slipped and she landed on her bad leg. Vriska yelled and fell forward into the dirt.

“...uh...are you-” Tavros started.

“Don't. Say. A fucking word.” Vriska growled into the ground. She rolled herself over and propped herself against the tree again.

Tavros felt sorry for her. Her face was a mixture of blood, tears, and dirt. She looked utterly drained. He tried to think of something he could say.

“Well...uh...at least it will heal up. You'll be on your feet again soon.”

Vriska gave Tavros a long look before speaking. “Yeah. Thanks for reminding me.”

“Oh...uh...sorry.”

“Oh, for fuck's sake. Just...” She winced. “So... what do Americans call this again? Poetic justice?”

Tavros just shrugged. Vriska rolled her eyes again. “You're unbelievable, Tavros. Troll who crippled you has a broken leg, and you apologize. You need a fucking spine, already.”

“...uh...sor...uh...I mean...”

“No...no...don't strain yourself,” Vriska said sarcastically. “Let all your rage out and once and you could blow the top of your head off.”

Tavros looked glum and put his hands on his head.

Vriska looked at him. “You're not even going to take a shot at me? No smart remarks? No 'ha ha see how you like it'? That's just sad.”

“Quiet,” Tavros hissed.

“You're going to have to do better than-”

“Shh!” Tavros put his finger to his lips. He was looking around frantically. Vriska strained to listen. A few seconds later, she heard a rustling behind her. Something was moving.

“Oh fuck,” She breathed. The sound made its way in a wide circle until it was over to Vriska's right. After a minute, she saw two gray snouts emerge from the dark shrubbery. Four yellow eyes stared right at her.

“...uh...”

“Fuck. Wolves,” She whispered, face turning pale. “I didn't know you had wolves over here.”

“...uh...I didn't think we did either,” He whispered back.

“Fuck, fuck! Where's my gun? I can't find my pistol!” Vriska panicked. The two beasts slowly walked towards her, crouching low and stepping carefully. Vriska realized that they smelled her blood. They smelled a wounded animal. A meal.

“Damn,” She gasped. Vriska steadied herself and stared the wolf down. Maybe she could grab it by the throat when it went for hers. Maybe she could kill it before it killed her. And...then...the other one? She didn't like her chances.

She spotted her gun, it was in the dirt at the animal's feet. It sniffed it briefly and then continued stalking towards Vriska.

“Tavros?”

“Uh...yeah?”

“Do me a favor.”

“...uh...” Tavros strained as he tried to get a better view of the wolves. He thought he saw...something around their necks?

“This thing is about to break my neck. My gun is over there...just...shoot me when it does. Okay? I don't want to be eaten alive.”

“...uh...I don't think...”

“Tavros...please. I'm asking nicely. I know you don't owe me any favors, but I just want a fast death. Just kill me, quick,” Vriska choked out.

“That's...uh...not what I meant.”

“What the fuck are you-”

“Here boy!” Tavros said in a loud, friendly voice. Both the wolves turned their heads. Vriska looked at Tavros like he was crazy.

“Come here boy!” Tavros whistled. “Come here!” He patted his knees.

They both looked at Vriska, and then back at Tavros.

“Come here boy! That's a good boy.” He smiled as they both trotted over towards him.

“What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Doing?” Vriska said stiffly.

Tavros reached out and started scratching one of them behind its ears. It wagged its tail happily. Tavros looked at Vriska with a smile and pointed to what he saw on its neck before. It was a tattered collar.

“They're...uh...not wolves. They're dogs, I think.”

“What are dogs doing out here?”

Tavros shrugged “Uh...abandoned? They look pretty ragged.”

“So...they're not going to eat me?”

“I...don't know. They seem pretty hungry. I'm just...uh...keeping them distracted.”

“Okay. Okay. Hang on.” Vriska leaned over to her side and rolled on her stomach. She used her arms to crawl over to where her gun was laying in the dirt. One of the wolfhounds looked back at her, but Tavros reached out and started scratching it under the chin.

“Stay. Stay. Good boy!” Tavros said. “Hurry up...please.” He hissed. “I think they figured out that I don't have any food.”

Vriska reached out, fingertips brushing against the handle. One of the dogs turned towards her and started growling.

“No! Here boy! Over here!”

Vriska picked up the gun and pulled the hammer back. The hound that was growling at her bolted towards her. She swung the gun up and pulled the trigger, not having enough time to aim

It was a lucky shot. Its head jerked back and it crumpled to the ground, less than a foot away from her. The other dog ran into the forest.

Tavros looked sadly at the dead animal, laying in the dirt. Vriska looked up.

“It was him or me, Tavros.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“It's just a fucking dog!” she snapped. More out of nerves than anything. “Get over it!”

“Sorry.”

Vriska waited for her heart to stop hammering.

“Tavros?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

“...Yeah.”

*

It would be near the break of dawn when she heard voices.

“Vriska? Tavros?”

“Over here!” she croaked.

“Vriska?”

“Here!” she said louder.

It was Jade who pushed her way through the shrubs a few seconds later.

“Oh wow! Thank God we found you guys.” She turned around and cupped her hands around her mouth “Found them! They're alri-” she looked at Vriska, “...They're alive!” She lowered her voice again, “Can you walk?

“Very funny,” Vriska grumbled, “No, I can't. What took you so long?”

“Well, Dave and Karkat needed to lose those two chasing them first.” Jade said, as Karkat and Gamzee came into the clearing.

“Oh yeah. What happened with that?” Tavros asked.

“Fucker with the gun got thrown out of the car when you guys got knocked off the road. Smashed his fucking head open. The other guy was shit at driving and shooting at the same time. When the road opened up, Strider managed to shoot the engine up. Only took him three fucking clips.” Karkat looked at the scene before him. “Holy fuck. What happened here? You shot someone's dog?”

“It was him or me!” Vriska snapped. Jade and Gamzee scooped her up. “Watch the leg!” She hissed. She noticed that Dave was there too, surveying the damage on their car. He turned and walked over to help Karkat lift Tavros up.

“Doesn't look so bad.” He said. “Couple of bits got knocked lose, but we'll be rolling it back down hills again in no time.”

“Sorry about that,” Tavros said.

“Not your fault, Peanut Brittle.” Dave said, “That was some good driving back there. You just zigged when you should have zagged.”

“...uh...I guess.”

“Besides,” Gamzee called back, “we got a whole lot of motherfucking rum out of it, real cheap.”

“We'll come back for the fucking car later. Let's get these two morons back,” Karkat grumbled.

*

A week later, Vriska was in a bad mood. She had a heavy, clumsy, long leg cast, making it impossible to bend at the knee and making getting around very difficult. She spent most of her time sitting at one of the tables in the speakeasy with one of her legs propped up on the chair. She usually made her way slowly up the stairs to one of the spare rooms when customers were there. Karkat didn't want too many people to see her laid up, and that suited her just fine. Today though, there were no customers and Vriska was lounging at a table. She was painfully bored.

Gamzee wheeled Tavros down the cargo ramp

“Hey there, my laid up sister,” Gamzee grinned.

“Do I look like a nun to you, Gamzee?” Vriska said.

“Sorry. Fucking force of habit,” he shrugged. Vriska groaned at his pun.

“Uh...how are you doing?” Tavros asked.

“I hate this!” Vriska leaned back and held her head. “I'm so bored! I can't do anything!”

“Oh...uh...sorry,” Tavros averted his eyes.

“Oh stop fucking apologizing.”

“Sorry.” He said. Vriska groaned.

Suddenly, he brightened up. “Want to play...uh...some poker?”

Vriska smiled. “Yeah, sure! I owe you after that night. I'll teach you how to play real good cards.”

“I...uh...don't really need-”

Vriska cut him off. “Nah! Don't worry about it. You helped me. I'll help you. And this is just the start. I'll help you learn how to get a spine. How to stand up for yourself. How to go for what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you.”

“...I...uh...okay.” Tavros shrugged.

Vriska sighed. “Good thing I like a challenge. You got some cards?”

“...uh...yeah. Right here.”

“Good. Tell you what. I won't even use my lucky charm.” she said, pulling a small bag out of her coat and tossing it to Gamzee. He caught it with a rattling sound.

“Okay” she grinned. “You deal.”

*

Karkat walked down about half an hour later to see Tavros and Vriska sitting at a table, with Gamzee watching. Karkat walked over to Gamzee.

“What are you lazy bums doing? Nothing, as usual? What is this? Cards?”

“Scary sister is helping our brother here learn how to play poker.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

Karkat scanned the table. “Looks like Tavros is winning. By a lot.”

“Sister's a real fucking good teacher I guess. He hasn't lost yet.”

“Both of you shut the fuck up.” Vriska growled.

“...uh...sorry.”

“Stop fucking apologizing!” she yelled, tossing her cards to the table.

Karkat just shook his head and went back upstairs.

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to Phrenotobe (http://phrenotobe.tumblr.com/) and InvalidGriffin (http://invalidgriffin.tumblr.com/) for helping with some of the dialogue, especially Rose and Karkat, and for being awesome beta readers.
> 
> Na to i schuka v more, shtoby karas' ne dremal = The pike in the sea is there to make the crucian to stay alert.  
> Ubirat'sya = Go away  
> Govniuk = Shithead.


End file.
